Do you face HSP holiday anxiety?
First off, you don’t have to be highly sensitive to experience holiday anxiety. There are enough pressures, time crunches, and social marathons to cause even our non-HSP friends to feel stressed.
However, there are some triggers that only HSPs understand. And even universal holiday anxiety triggers tend to affect HSPs in a way that can feel especially intense.
That isn’t to say that the holidays are absent of joy. They can feel joyous too; it’s just really a mixed bag for HSPs.
And well, bypassing HSP holiday anxiety triggers isn’t helpful. Ignoring these triggers can make the experiences feel unbearable and wreak havoc on your nervous system leading to further anxiety.
By shedding light on the holiday anxiety triggers of HSPs, you may find that:
- You’re not alone and other HSPs experience similar holiday anxiety triggers.
- Identifying triggers is a key step for learning to honor and cope with them.
- Preparing yourself for HSP holiday anxiety triggers goes a long way.
- You can cope with the triggers in a way that allows you to enjoy the holidays.
The following list is by no means exhaustive of HSP holiday anxiety triggers, but it speaks to some of my own as well as what I’ve heard from my clients.
8 HSP Holiday Anxiety Triggers
1) Loud Environments
Many HSPs feel overwhelmed when it comes to noisy environments. An HSP might do okay there is just one loud thing. But if you add on cross talking while an HSP is trying to listen to someone, screaming babies, holiday music, and football blaring from the television all at the same time, the HSP nervous system goes haywire.
2) Commercialization and Consumerism
At a sensory level, HSPs can easily feel overwhelmed by the bombardment of advertising, lights, bells, and crowds that permeate the holidays. And at an emotional level, many HSPs feel deep sadness when that sensory experience is rife with consumption and disregard for the impact on our society and planet. I don’t want to be Melancholic Melissa, but it takes immense energy to reconcile joy and love for others with abundant waste and harm to others.
3) F-ing Fragrance
Many HSPs are intensely bothered by perfumes and colognes. It can really feel like a violation of space and senses. Living in the world means that intrusive chemicals that make me wheeze and sneeze are unavoidable. And well, I don’t know, the stress of the holidays must really make people think they stink because it seems the dowsing goes over the top when people put on their festive attire.
4) Travel
Even vacation travel can be stressful for HSPs due to the various aspects of planning and uncertainty involved. When you pile on time constraints, stifling traffic, financial costs, smuggling baked goods through airport security, and other expectations that can go along with the holidays, traveling can quickly feel overwhelming to HSPs if we don’t keep some considerations in mind.
5) Dressing Up
I used to think I was the only woman who hated dressing up until I met other HSPs. HSPs can be sensitive to the feel of certain textures and many garments feel so constricting that you want to jump out of your body. So, why not skip the aggravating attire? Well, for me, what feels okay one day can literally become my most despised item of clothing the next. I’m not sure what this sudden shift is about, but it’s a real occurrence.
6) Politics
Hey, hey, before you start calling me a “snowflake” (grits teeth), both liberal and conservative HSPs alike that I’ve talked to can feel highly triggered by political conversations. While some people find political differences to be interesting fodder for a fun debate, as an HSP, what you feel and believe is connected right to the center of your heart. HSPs want to connect in meaningful ways, and therefore, may prefer to focus on topics that build connection.
7) Grief
HSPs feel everything deeply, which can mean feeling intense nostalgia. Nostalgia can be a beautiful experience of recalling memories. But it can feel overwhelming if you’ve lost a loved one, experienced divorce, or faced other life-changing circumstances. You know what I mean. A family memento, music, wistful images of fond memories, a Christmas movie scene, spices in the kitchen, you name it…any of these can bring about a tsunami of emotion.
8) Small Talk
The holidays can entail office parties, family gatherings, seeing old friends, among other social events. Some of those events can mean attempting to catch up with many people within a couple of hours or awkwardly looking for ways to make interesting conversation. HSPs are acutely aware of their own feelings of inauthenticity when it comes to small talk and jumping from conversation to conversation can feel exhausting.
How to Cope with Holiday Anxiety Triggers as an HSP
- Know your triggers. Being able to identify them can help you to physically and mentally prepare for how to deal with them when they arise.
- Have some go-to tools. Grounding techniques, longer exhalations, gentle body movement, and focusing your gaze in one place can all be helpful tools for managing holiday triggers. This isn’t a one-size fits all though, so you will need to explore what works best for you.
- Wear comfy clothes that feel like you. There are enough triggers to deal with, so you might as well choose comfort as one thing you can control so that your body has a greater likelihood of feeling at ease.
- Ask for what you need. Ok, so asking your uncle to wash off his cologne is a little like telling your sister her top is ugly after she made the purchase and is wearing it. But there are things you can request. If you’re having a conversation and feel bombarded with noise, ask to turn down the TV so you can listen better. Or ask if the two of you could go in the other room so you can really hear them.
- Feel your feelings. When grief or trauma come up throughout the holiday season, allow yourself to be with it. Carve out time for a particular ritual or practice to offer yourself space to grieve. Giving yourself time can reduce the likelihood of the flood gates opening at an inopportune moment. Although if this happens, that’s okay too…be loving with yourself.
- Get curious in conversations. It’s not just HSPs that worry about small talk. Assume others can be deep too. Consider what you know is happening in their lives. Ask them about the things that you know interest them, if they’re working on anything creative, what they like about their new job, what the highlight of the last weekend/month/year was, and so forth.
- Plan and prepare but expect the unexpected. If you know you’ll be traveling for the holidays, go ahead with getting errands done early and making checklists. But knowing that there may be some unexpected hiccups along the way can help in adopting a “go with the flow” attitude when circumstances are out of your control.
- Take care of yourself. I know you’re tired of hearing about self-care, but taking time before and after holiday activities can be invaluable when it comes to how your nervous system responds in triggering situations. Get some sleep, hydrate, cozy up with tea.
- Find the joy. I recall there was a gathering not so long ago with my Italian family in which the volume of talking, laughter, and musical acts was totally amped up. My system felt overloaded, but then I sort of let all the sound blur together looked around. I saw people I love laughing, singing, and bouncing little babies. In that moment, I felt an HSP tear sneaking up, but more for the joy I was witnessing than for the noise trigger.
What about you? What are you most triggered by during the holiday season and how do you manage those triggers?