I want a world in which all people can live with safety, freedom, and dignity. I do my best to act in support of such a dignified existence at a variety of levels. But of course, my activism is limited when it comes to influencing the world.
Where I can have a profound impact is the gathering spaces that I co-create with other highly sensitive people like you.
Whether I’m hosting a yoga class, online circle, or retreat, one of my most central goals is to foster an atmosphere where everyone feels (more) safe, seen, and supported.
This goal includes creating an affirming space for queer HSPs and introverts.
I’ve had an increase in the number of retreat participants who identify as queer—or perhaps it’s that more people feel safe to disclose this part of themselves.
During a recent retreat, I shared how I’ve come to acknowledge aspects of my own queerness. After this, several people shared their own queer identities or explorations.
Had I not said this, or had they not felt safe in the group, I imagine that at least some may not have spoken up. I often wonder how many past participants may not have felt safe enough to be out.
Thankfully, in these retreats, people expressed feeling incredibly accepted. It makes sense. HSPs tend to have a lot of empathy. We can also relate to the desire to be seen and known as who they really are.
Yet, I can’t assume this luck with every participant or experience. HSPs also have diverse views, beliefs, and backgrounds.
As a facilitator, I have a responsibility to prioritize the safety and well-being of our queer HSP and introverted participants (and those from any marginalized group).
I’ve come to realize that I haven’t done enough in my communication. I have a few mentions of our retreats being affirming of all genders and sexual orientations sprinkled through my webpages.
But those notes can get missed. I decided that I need to be more proactive to ensure that all participants are willing to honor diverse identities.
This seems especially necessary now.
The scientific knowledge we now have about gender fluidity in humans and many other species is still new for many. It feels contradictory to the way many have previously understood biology.
While language is constantly evolving, it has changed very quickly in this realm. I find that even many of my progressive friends are having difficulty understanding gender identity and the use of pronouns.
Queerphobia, which includes homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia, has always been around. But the fear-mongering and vitriol around gender identity has recently become louder and seemingly more widespread.
But despite the fear and anger, I also have a lot of hope.
Before our recent Peru retreat, I spoke with my partners, Valentin and Flor, about pronouns and not assuming gender identity, knowing that at least one person who’d be attending is nonbinary.
I wasn’t sure how they’d react and how much education I’d have to do. But I was met with openness and both of them saying something like:
“Of course, let’s talk about this more.”
“We want everyone to feel welcome.”
“How can we address the group?”
They both created a positive experience and made an effort to learn. This gives me faith that our highly sensitive community, and more of the world, can do so too.
For future events, there will be a checkbox with the following basic principles in registration forms.
At our retreats, we strive to create a welcoming environment for everyone. We are committed to social justice, environmental stewardship, and fostering a respectful and nurturing atmosphere.
We affirm all genders, sexual orientations, races, ethnicities, abilities, ages, and other identities, and prioritize the safety and well-being of participants from marginalized communities.
As we are all learning and growing, upholding these principles is not about getting everything “right”. Patience with ourselves and others is key, and so too is a willingness to examine our biases and own our actions when even our good intentions hurt someone.
By joining this gathering, we ask that you:
- Respect Diversity: I agree to respect the diverse identities and lived experiences of all participants. I will contribute to creating a supportive space where everyone feels valued, seen, and heard.
- Ecological Care: I commit to reducing my environmental impact during the retreat by following sustainable practices, such as reducing waste, conserving resources, and respecting the natural environment.
- Impact & Intention: I will consider and be accountable with how my words and actions impact others and extend grace with each other as part of the learning process.
By registering for this event, I acknowledge and agree to uphold these values and principles, understanding that I play an important role in creating a supportive group experience.
Of course, creating safer and affirming environments requires much more than a basic agreement of respect. As a facilitator, I’m constantly doing my own work to learn, update my language, hold my assumptions, and uncover how I might be upholding heteronormative standards.
If you’re thinking of signing up for a retreat or online circle but have questions or concerns, let’s have a conversation! Reach out to info@melissanoelrenzi.com and we’ll discuss.