How to Manage Performance Anxiety as an HSP

Do you struggle to manage performance anxiety as a highly sensitive person? Despite it being quite common to feel anxious about things like public speaking and musical performances, it still feels like a mystery to so many of us when it comes to how we manage performance anxiety effectively.

Highly sensitive people may be more susceptible to performance anxiety. Our very have very active minds, as well as our tendencies to self-criticize and experience sensory overwhelm can make performance anxiety worse. Let me illustrate with a story.

Recently, I had the privilege of presenting for the Quiet Collective Conference, an online conference specifically for introverted women building businesses to change the world.

What you don’t know is just how dreadful my process was leading up to that event in managing my performance anxiety.

The topic I presented was on building sensitive courage and overcoming anxiety as an introverted entrepreneur. When asked to present, I felt a little anxious, but thought, “This is my life. I can do this,” and agreed.

Here’s the thing. I don’t know if it’s my high sensitivity, introversion, or anxiety–perhaps a combination, but there are moments when I struggle to articulate myself despite being able to at other times. It can be really frustrating when my knowledge and experience doesn’t come out of my mouth the way I wish it would.

So much goes on in my mind. The depth of processing information that happens in my brain easily takes me off on a tangent. Well, this is exactly what happened the first time I tried to record the conference with the organizer, Casey.

A couple of slides in, I got flustered and froze, and I asked to stop.

I felt frazzled by the interface of my computer, the slides, and the camera. I hadn’t yet figured out how to manage my performance anxiety in this realm because the interface of online presentations was new to me. Despite my experience delivering eulogies, my grad school commencement speech, and teaching yoga, I couldn’t talk to a computer.

When I got offline that night, I cried. I felt like a failure and the self-criticism began to sneak into my psyche. At the same time, I knew I could get a handle on my thoughts and manage my performance anxiety.

Thankfully, the organizer offered me an opportunity to give it another go. The second time my presentation was a success. It wasn’t perfect, but I was able to roll with it and be myself.

I’d like to share with you how I managed my performance anxiety.

How to Manage Performance Anxiety as a Highly Sensitive Person

1) Reframe anxiety. Work with anxiety rather than against it. Anxiety doesn’t have to be all bad. By working with anxiety, we can start to see anxiety differently allowing it to exist while moving on with our lives. I wrote a blog about this that you may find helpful: “Feeling Anxious? How to Cognitively Reframe Anxiety”

2) Let go of perfection. Just before I redid my online presentation, my dad told me, “Even if things don’t go well, it’s not the end of the world.” We make mistakes and mess up, but life continues. And usually, the only one who really remembers is us.

3) Be yourself. You know what really helped me manage my performance anxiety? I gave myself permission to mess up and fumble with my words. So when it happened during my presentation, I was able to correct myself, make a joke, and continue.

4) Apply grounding skills. I used a grounding technique from a therapeutic technique called Brainspotting, specifically, the “Resource Model”. I explain how this technique works here: “A Mindfulness Exercise to Cope with Anxiety“. Any grounding techniques you find beneficial will do.

5) Change your self-talk. Remember you’ve got what it takes. My partner reminded me of this the evening when I had a meltdown. He asked me, “What would you say to me if I were in your shoes?” He used my own tools to support me. Be kind to yourself the way you would to a friend.

It’s funny, as I write this, I’m preparing for my upcoming retreats to Peru. I’m feeling a bit nervous wanting everything to go “right”. But then I remember that nothing ever goes exactly as planned. It’s all part of the adventure and what’s give our lives meaning…something so many of use sensitive people dig.

Do you struggle to manage performance anxiety as a highly sensitive person? If so, in what circumstances and how do you manage performance anxiety? Feel free to drop a comment below.